the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
