Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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