i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
