So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
false alarm, still single
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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