Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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