i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
