I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
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The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The ass gains better be worth it
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