i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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