I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
