she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
