we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
