the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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