well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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