he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
