guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
