our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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