make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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