When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
