you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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