If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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