I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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