You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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