Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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