Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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