My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
