All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
