I just made out with a guy for $7.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
