I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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