I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
