rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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