Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
