You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
