sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
