Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
