I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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