is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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