I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think your dad took our porno
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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