That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He better not be in your backpack
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
