I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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