I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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