Non-Jews are for practice
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
