I'm sorry my penis didn't work
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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