we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
