Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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