We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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