there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
