dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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