Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
