I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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