Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
