i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
