Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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