After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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