She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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