I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
