dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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