All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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