Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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