i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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