Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
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do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
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So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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